Why did we start Rite Of Passage Scandinavia?
It all started when...
When i started working with teenagers five years ago, helping them to break out of their videogames and internet addictions, i saw clearly that these teenagers were totally isolated and were stuck in their development of different reasons. I met many young men who were still living in their parents basement, with no job, no school, no money, and totally codependent of their parents. Many of them had never washed their own clothes, didn’t know how to put on the washing machine, never helped out in the house. They were getting their meals cooked, their beds cleaned and had no responsibilities. They were basically passive, with no motivation, their reality was distorted, they thought that this was a ordinary life, 25 years playing video games and living in their parents house without nothing else to do.
When we scratched on the surface during our therapy sessions, we clearly saw that underneath that perfect high ranking score they had in their video games, there were a lot of hidden shame, fear of stepping out in the real world, taking chances, talking to people in public. And we are not talking about a few teenagers, it was hundreds and hundreds of teenagers who all had similar situations. They were all basically saying the same thing.. They didn’t know anything else, they were afraid, they lacked guidance in their lives, of different reasons. it could be they were bullied in school, maybe their parents had a rough divorce, death in the family, something that made the shut down their feelings and had to hide behind their computers and video games. And as they became older their shame and fear grew along with them. Because when they realised the truth that deep inside of them they knew that being 23 or 26 and still stuck in their parents house, being fed by their parents, not contributing in their society, family and for themselves was not healthy.
So when we went deeper with these kids, we saw clearly that they didn’t made this normal transition, being a teenager, going from a ”boy” state, and making the transition and turning into a ”young man”, standing on his own two feet. That transition was missing, they were still lost in being a boy, dependent of others, mostly their parents. They were living in shame. Their self-esteem was low, and they felt broken. We wanted to help the grow, help them come in contact with their unique self and their qualities, to help them find their purpose in life. i was recommended to talk to this guy from Australia named Dr Arne Rubenstein who also worked with teenagers, but with a different approach. We both wanted the same thing, which was to give our boys the best platform to allow themselves to grow and become strong independent young men. I worked with therapy and braking digital addiction, and he worked with something called Rites of Passage.
I was interested in his work and we started to have Skype sessions, i also bought his book, ”Making men”. After that i also participated his leadership training in in Holland, and became a Rites of passage facilitator. After that i invited him to Sweden, we did a talk together and also arranged a ”father and son camp” here in Stockholm. Which was actually the first Rites of passage camp ever to have been executed in Sweden.
After that i have been running RoP camps, but calling it Digital Detox camps, due to the fact that our main concept was to have camps that was totally technology free. That ment that the participants will be stripped from all their technology when they arrive. And during the days our content was based on the methods coming from RoP.
Now we see the need to expand this method even further with more camps and also to focus only on the Rite of Passage, and promote it as it is. A powerful way to heal and reinforce our kids with confidence and self esteem.